Entry 16 | Say It Like You Cite It!

TAP PLAY TO LISTEN -

(TAP PLAY TO LISTEN)

The other day, I was chatting with an older lady who smiled and said, “It’s easier to write children’s books, isn’t it?” She said it so casually, as though it were an obvious truth. I could’ve responded with my own opinion—something like, “Actually, no, it’s not easier” and left it there. But instead, I thought of a conversation I once had with one of my favorite authors, the late Janet Taylor Lisle, and the brilliant mind behind Afternoon of the Elves—a book that shaped my love of storytelling as a child.

When I asked her about writing for young readers, she said something that stayed with me:

“I think we can all agree that children are complicated people, as deep and full of hidden feeling as the adults around them. Their literature, the best of it anyway, must reflect this. In a way, it’s harder to write for children because as an adult you’ve vacated that highly sensitive world. How to get back there is the problem, and how to use language devoid of the show-off ‘literacy’ that fiction for adults often traffics in. Sara-Kate Connolly advises her friend Hillary to ‘go slowly and quietly and look deep’ if she wants to see an elf. The same could be said of writing for children.”

In my response, I included Lisle's commentary—rooted in real experience from a Newbery Honor winning author of children's books. It was so much stronger than anything I could’ve come up with on my own and it reminded me why references matter, not just when we’re writing essays or crafting articles, but when we’re speaking. Too often, people throw opinions around as if they were facts. We repeat what we’ve heard, what we assume, or what “sounds right” without asking, “Where did that idea come from?” or “Who said it first?”

When we speak with references, we elevate the conversation. Imagine someone says, “Reading isn’t as popular anymore.” Instead of agreeing or disagreeing off the cuff, you might respond with, “Actually, a Pew Research study found that over 70% of adults still read books each year—many just prefer digital formats now.” Or if someone says, “People don’t write like they used to,” you could reference an author, a trend, or even an article you’ve read that explores how social media has changed our syntax and storytelling.

Speaking with references shows that you’re engaged with the world beyond your own lens. It doesn’t mean you’re trying to sound intellectual—it means you’re being responsible with your words. You’re saying, “I’ve thought about this,” or “I’ve learned from others.” And sometimes, the real magic isn’t in having the right opinion, but in knowing where our ideas come from—and how sharing them thoughtfully can bring us closer to one another.

(Read my full interview with Janet Taylor Lisle here — it’s one of my favorite literary conversations.)

---

Discussion: Do you find yourself referencing books, quotes, or data in your everyday conversations—or do you rely more on your personal perspective?